This page is a social contract between myself and the world in order to keep me accountable for changing my life one step at a time.
My wife suggested I start a new project. Starting October 1, 2022, I will write one short story per week.
I will collect them all and publish 4 books at the end of each quarter.
I will give a brief description of each short story on each Saturday. The first story description will drop October 1, 2022.
These stories will be a combination of true stories of my life and fiction pieces.
Until then. Enjoy yourself.
Take a breath
Lose it all
Wasting time
These holes
Are not Me
Bulletproof
I am
Just let me be
I’m fine
These wounds will heal
I am
Gone
I wonder what it is like to have ones “act” together.
I, obviously, do not. I cannot seem to get inspired by life and living. It is as if the world around me is bland, or that I am not as interesting as I think. I am bland and I inspire blandness.
I wonder.
Question the casualness of cruelty
That meets us all throughout the day
Looming distances of thought
Agree that we are lost
Forever tracing lines of disasters
Against my minds eye of unfortunate decisions
The smiles creased against the scars
Find the time to write
My worries and frustrations envelope me
My mind reels and flounders
The worries break me and I
Find the time to write
Lessons left untaught
Tears left unshod
Words left spoken when silence preferred
Unwittingly afraid
Of failures and features and fractured things
The miasma of the self proclaimed
Wondering about misfortunes never taken.
About windmills never tilted,
About quests half fulfilled and journeys halted,
And tell myself, that’s okay, I think.
Fake, fraud, charlatan
The ever increasing feeling of overwhelming mediocrity
Am I even worth the time to criticize and condemn?
I ask these questions of myself and have know answers.
I am me. I may be good enough alone or with my family and friends.
Or maybe not.
I feel ashamed and afraid that I am never going to be good enough got my own hopes and dreams.
Are my hopes and dreams even worthwhile?
These are the things that drive my dreams into nightmares and beyond. Going to sleep with the feeling of failure and waking knowing I am.
My Quest 