Irrationality

Rational irrationalities circumvent the scope and context of life awaiting confrontation of equality gasping for breath at each laugh weighing the thoughts that skew

Wondering the itrational beginnings time immemorial, immaterial longings to become one with nothing nirvana or apathy?

Confusion reigns and rains upon the streets of feast and famine lives won against the sea of anxiety lives we fight for unknowingly yet the irrationality of this all is the only rational thing

Disillusion

Illuminated alterations guide from androgynous circumstances one knows not the pathways of light curl and funnel around the chimneys of the minds eye

Awaiting each of us is Disillusion the modern mockery of the anxious Disillusion stalks the recesses of the self Disillusion hides amongst the weeds of hope

To confront Disillusion is to lose But the bitter triumph? Reflection

Conceptualize

Conceptualize the space between moments those imperfections that last a millennia those desires gone in a flash conceptualize the pursuit of a thing the scent of scintillation, the taste of silver those infectious delights conceptualize the thoughts that bring disgust, that bring love or lust, those boundaries the shift and merge those ideas that blend into finite things conceptualize the idea that although things may not be but , Oh, if they were

Change

Why can I not help?

I wait and wait.

Nothing

I see her there, hurting:

Me – helpless.

Wrong hands like an idiot in hopes that

this motion will re-engage my self-worth.

Why can I not do anything?

They take her away.

She smiles, I hope not for the last time.

They say that it’s normal.

Normal?

They say it will be fine.

I wait.

I pace.

I sway.

I sicken with each moment.

I sit, stand, sit again.

I wait.

It feels like forever, if feels like an instant.

They say they are ready.

My wife is there.

She does not see me. She can not see me.

I reach for her hand. I squeeze.

She feels nothing.

I tell her it will be alright.

I cannot hear the words as the pass my lips.

She breathes. I squeeze.

Is it done?

They hand me my child, our child, our daughter.

I look at my wife with our children in my arms.

I lay my daughter down, cheek-to-cheek with my wife.

My world has changed.