Tag: blog

Rays

I wonder where my thoughts arrive

Washing through my mind and soul

A tsunami of nothing and everything

Worries encapsulated and squashed or fossilized

Into a thousand opalescent entities

Never knowing when their bleak shine

Will enraptured me and

I wonder where my thoughts arrive

Imposter

Fake, fraud, charlatan

The ever increasing feeling of overwhelming mediocrity

Am I even worth the time to criticize and condemn?

I ask these questions of myself and have know answers.

I am me. I may be good enough alone or with my family and friends.

Or maybe not.

I feel ashamed and afraid that I am never going to be good enough got my own hopes and dreams.

Are my hopes and dreams even worthwhile?

These are the things that drive my dreams into nightmares and beyond. Going to sleep with the feeling of failure and waking knowing I am.

Disappointment

It’s happened so often that I feel it’s an unwanted friend.

A commitment that I cannot escape.

The Sisyphisian task of just being.

Depression is it’s true brother, kin-of-my-kin,

And I hate it.

I take full responsibility for my actions.

I try to overcome, but it is so hard.

What am I doing wrong?

I just wish I could succeed more often then I fail.

Maybe next time…

Idyllic Senses

Pain eclipses the modern horizon,

Enveloping the desired limits we place upon

The moments of our lives.

Our senses, idle idiots, partake without participating,

Meander down paths tread countlessly.

Feeling the warmth of pain, the freezing of desire,

The idyllic sense of nothing and everything.